What is Spanish for 'Fuck off, I don't trust you?'

It’s a very negative, cynical sort of statement to make, kind of what my mother would tell me before I venture away to another questionable destination. But it is my advice to anyone on their way to South America – don’t trust anyone. Or to be more specific and little less threatening – don’t trust anyone while you have your belongings on you. If you’re not carrying anything important or valuable then go ahead; meet people, practice your Spanish, make new friends. Overall they are great, amiable people who love meeting foreigners and are proud of their countries and are happy to have you there. Unfortunately, however, there are also cunning, creative thieves who see backpackers as easy targets.

While there I met numerous people who had been victims due to lack of care or naivety; situations that could have been avoided by taking simple measures like keeping a backpack on your lap while travelling or keeping your wallet locked up in your room. The only reason you should ever be carrying valuables is if you’re travelling between destinations. You don’t need to keep your passport with you. (Venezuela, of course, is a different story.)

It’s very unfortunate because there were so many highlights, but here are some examples of what can happen.

I was in a market and went to reach into my backpack but somebody had cut a hole in the bottom and taken my things out. Camera, wallet, cash. So annoying.

Cute Dutch girl, Medellin, Colombia

We were riding bicycles outside of Quito (Ecuador) and a car drove up to us. Men got out with guns and made us give them our bags. Our passports and credit cards were in there.

Two Swedish guys, Quito, Ecuador

I arrived at the front door of the hostel in Lima. I put my daypack down to take my backpack off, then turned to pick it up and it was gone. It was, like, two seconds I took my eyes off it. I lost everything. My passport, money, credit cards, id.

Laurette the Irish girl, Lima, Peru

He was really nice and I wanted to practice my Spanish so I sat down on a park bench in the town square to talk. He got up and left after a few minutes, then I noticed he had taken my camera out of my pocket…I was pretty drunk so I didn’t notice when he did it.

Also Laurette the (silly) Irish girl, Santiago, Chile

My handbag was stolen so my mum transferred a whole lot of cash to me. After I picked it up I went to the beach, and while I was swimming in the water someone went through my things and took the cash.

Why did you take it to the beach?

To keep it safe.

Stupid English girl, Mancora, Peru

The bus arrived at 6 o’clock this morning, while I was waiting for a taxi two guys sprayed me with mace and took all my things, I still can’t see properly…do you have any money you could give me?

Danish bloke, Mendoza, Argentina

I passed out on the beach, but before I did I put my camera in my pocket and tied it to the string. Someone went into my shorts’ pocket while I was asleep and cut the cord and took the camera.

My mate Crouchy, Rio, Brazil

I fell asleep on the bus and they took my bag. Laptop, memory cards, and the new camera I just bought.

My mate Crouchy again, bus to Salvador, Brazil

Oh fuck, someone’s been into my bag! They took my laptop! Oh shit! There was two years’ worth of photos on there. Did anyone see anything? Did anyone see who took it?

English guy sitting next to me on the bus to Medellin, Colombia (he was a bit of a dick anyway so I didn’t feel too bad for him).

My taxi driver took me down an alley way and some guys with machetes were waiting for me. Took everything I had with me except my pants.

English bloke, Guayaquil, Ecuador

I was walking back from the club pretty late last night and a guy pulled a knife on me. He took my hat and the cash I had left. Then further on another guy pulled a knife on me. I had no cash left so he took my shoes, my shirt and my belt. I only came home with my pants!

Carne the South African who was an absolute dick so everyone was happy this happened, Medellin, Colombia

I passed out at the favela party, now there’s no cash left in my pocket.

Brennan the American, Rio, Brazil. (kind of deserved that one).

My bag was on the floor between my legs like always. It was only a four hour daytime bus ride so I wouldn’t be sleeping. A nice old man tapped me on the shoulder and pointed at the floor which was all wet around my bag. My laptop was in the bag so I picked it up and put it on my lap, but that made my lap wet and the water kind of smelled, so I put the bag in the overhead compartment and figured I’d be able to keep an eye on it. When the bus pulled in to a stop people filled the aisle to get out. The same nice old man started tapping my foot so I looked down. He was saying ‘boletta, boletta’ (ticket) and his ticket was under my foot. I lifted my foot so he could pick up the ticket, then he started patting my shoulder, saying ‘gracias amigo, gracias,’ before getting off the bus. I thought, ‘what a nice old man,’ then thought, ‘that was strange.’ I stood up to check on my bag and it was gone. I raced off the bus but there was a crowd of people and it was long gone. Laptop, two passports, two credit cards, cash, all id. The creative bastards had poured water on the floor so I would pick my bag up, then got the old man to distract me.

Me. Bus to Lima, Peru.

None of these were life-threatening or violent, they were just petty, irritating crimes that cost people time and money. I had to spend two weeks in Lima then had to race north to Colombia to catch a flight and didn’t have time for anything in between.

Of course not everybody had problems, and plenty will probably say this is all unnecessary paranoia and you have to be stupid to have anything stolen. The guy I travelled with never knew where his passport was, at one point he lost it for five days, but he always ended up with it. There were times when I was extremely careful and watchful, and other times when I was stupid and negligent and nothing happened at all. A lot comes down to luck, but that doesn’t mean it won’t happen.  Anyone would rather spend their time at the beach or in the mountains than at the embassy or waiting at a Western Union office.